Teaching Tribal Tolerance

Teaching Tribal Tolerance'
27.2.08
Tackling School Bullying Conference, Bonnington Hotel, London

Some highlights and excerpts from presentation:

When my husband first came to this country in the 60s he remembers being on a busy London Tube with people going to work—the days when they still wore bowler hats to the city. A fakir, an Indian holy man, clambered on complete with a staff, red robes, nose ring, (bangles, flowers in his hair) got on. And yet no one paid him the slightest bit of attention – no one stared because it would seemed impolite to do so and no one wanted to do that. To make him feel ‘an outsider’. And that’s what British values were. They were moulded, developed and crafted. If someone was ‘different’ they would be viewed with tolerance - in almost a protective way—or even venerated. It was uncouth otherwise and no one wanted to be seen as uncouth. However what we see at Act Against Bullying is a growing problem of the opposite type of behaviour —manifesting itself in a whole of range of new forms . There’s no shame any longer in uncouth!...........

Bullying today is a complex mixture of physical, verbal, and social —manipulation through humiliation, through exclusion. Its all about instant social prestige. Bullies are getting way with their behaviour because of the fact that society has celebritised it. Tribalism is now trendy— Uncouth is the new cool…………

A classic example of this modern bullying behaviour was what we saw in Celebrity Big Brother last year. There was outrage form the public and it even became an international incident. Everyone understood it was unpleasant and it meant bullying and yet no one could put their finger on it. Was it racial? Was it class? But this sort of behaviour is classic of what seems to be going on right through society today. Deliberately challenging behaviour is the new norm—conflict seeking— Indiscriminate aggression—insensitivity—Vulgarity, intolerance, racist behaviour, ganging up, bitching, exclusion, humiliation. We saw all that on Celebrity Big Brother and we were angry. Yet that sort of behaviour is being meted on all the time in school classrooms and we are powerless to stop it. An interesting fact to note: In Big Brother no one was able to stop it going on………..

Bullying behaviour is no longer confined to the school room, or playground. ‘Bullying behaviour can be communicated via text, mobile phones, internet, social networking sites, forums. But we can’t limit it because these messages are then reinforced by television which glamorises yelling, swearing and vulgar behaviour as the way ‘to walk the red carpet of acceptance.’ But while it makes for great entertainment it is also seen as sexy and cool which is very unhelpful when it comes to school bullying issues….

Cyberbullying amongst youngsters is the latest trend but we’ve led the way through our adult media. Magazines with explicit content and accusatory colums are the messages reaching hard-to-reach groups. So that when young people publish their own media they copy them. Online they can publish their own magazines, news channels and television shows in the form of Face Book, forums, internet technology—All the ingredients are there to attract them: instant stardom, popularity, digital photography, glamour, gossip. Its fast, flashy and its fun for them. But this has led to a an increase in a form of cyberbullying and intimidation which is very hard to police….

WE have issued much guidance on racial discrimination and sexual discrimination but virtually nothing on tribal discrimination which manifests in a ritual of peer rejection., You can be the same colour, religion, background, age group, sex, but you can still be in a different tribe. Any difference is causing conflict and unhappiness. We are seeking confrontation and differences instead of considering what we have in common. And that attitude is rife for encouraging bullying and aggression in society. And a rise in tribal assaults. ............

Children are reporting that they can’t talk to a child from another group or they will be dropped from the one they are in. Isn’t this tribalism of the worst sort? If you stray into another tribe’s postcode in London you can be stabbed. Isn’t this tribalism?. This is not to do with race— sexuality—religion. Take a football match. If you sit with the wrong supporters you are fair game to be set upon, I’ve been told. That’s tribalism. This is where the danger lies. Tribal leaders were once chosen for their tolerance and maturity; now many are self-elected, egotistical bullies. ...........

Exclusion bullying stems from our new obsession with ‘group belonging’ Groups tend to develop in a predictable way. Whether it is politically correct or not to say so groups initially develop with a strong, outgoing personality being the leader. A classic school group leader – wishes to dominate, group swell, has high self-esteem, is admired, easy with making friends, outward going. Bullies very often exhibit just these characteristics. And they then will impose these rituals............

How can you define exclusion bullying? Not easily. If you hold a party for ten and you leave out another ten people that’s not exclusion bullying. If someone doesn’t make the sports team because they are not fit enough that’s not exclusion bullying. But if they whole class of 23 is invited to the leaving party but one child is deliberately left out by the organiser— that is a form of exclusion bullying. This type of bullying is particularly painful and could well be the major reason for many of the suicidal cases.

When a parent rings up and complains to Act Against Bullying all we can do is listen and sympathise because exclusion bullying is very difficult to report. And in many cases reporting it will exacerbate the problem. . Some of the stories are very distressing but through it we have been able to identify likely victims....

I think the saying of the Ralph W Sockman sums up our observations on exclusion bullying: ‘The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority ‘

Many of the children who have been excluded and humiliated are intimidated by group behaviour. They find it difficult to cope with the insensitivity of this new tribal dynamic. They will often say ‘they’re fine one to one’ or ‘they’re fine on their own’.

How we help them is to campaign on their behalf as we have done to try and get an understanding of how some children in particular are suffering today with the rise of tribal behaviour. They have little escape: it is not ok to just ‘read a book’. You’ll be called a loser loner. An earlier study we did on happy slapping revealed rather sadly that victims were simply those who were ‘on their own’.

The heady excitement of instant friendship that is offer by a group which is intoxicating our young people has to be tempered by our understanding of why it is happening l(like this Conference today) and re-teaching tradition British values of tolerance. Implement the four Rs. Reading, writing, arithmetic and respect for others...........