London 2011: Are We Kind Enough
November 10th, Somerset House, The Strand,London

Louise Burfitt-Dons's speech:

My answer is Yes, we’re kind
If anything we rate higher than the publicity we receive or indeed generate.
Our PR is poor and we could do something about that.

London’s a mega city,
people in a hurry tend to be ruder
And we’re cosmopolitan
Kindness is expressed differently country to country
That needs looking at.

I do think as a nation we are at risk of losing our treble A rating for courtesy
There are too many regulations which causes stress
People don’t know what they can and cannot do anymore.
Can be intimidating and counterproductive
In that sometimes people will even avoid social contact than risk causing offence. ,

There is to me a marked difference between now and 50 years ago
We were prouder of our history of courtesy than today..

One example. When I was about 7, my father
who was quite punctilious told me
`You should wear a half smile’. It was good manners.
When I asked why, he told me it made you look friendlier..
If you met someone happy you were in tune with them
But, more importantly, if someone came along who’d just had some bad news
You would appear more empathetic.

People studied kindness then, how to make others feel good.

We no longer carry a half-smile or kind expression on our face
More like a scowl, or at least that’s how TV shows portrays s
What message does this send our children, our communities, our tourists?
People who might visit and spend money in our country

And too much kindness is not a panacea-
Most stalking victims are not celebrities – but nice people,
Vicars, second-hand bookshop owners,
7 year old girls who smile openly at everyone
which is probably why my father took me aside.

At the other end, three’s the age-old conflict between kindness and leadership
Anyone who’s read Machiavelli will have a view on that,
.
Kindness is only truly valued in maturity.
when we’ve lived a bit, travelled, learnt about people,
Suffered, Understand how important it is to our survival
Because of that I think we have a duty of care
To protect young people who are not `there’ yet
Until they’re old enough to take care of that aspect
Be teaching them a civil code in schools if needs be...

Other cities have similar challenges to London
some look to us in the UK, believe it or not,
-How we were in our Audrey Hepburn era –
Not how we are now , because we seem intent on
Heading exactly the other way on social issues.
I think we’ve got a few hang-ups with it
Something to do with our class ridden society maybe,
`manners only belong to the well-off’
Combined with the Mary Whitehouse effect
Anyone talking about it is judgemental, moralistic , prudish
So we avoid it where we can. Maybe that’s why we’re slipping.

We should stop apologising for our British formality
When it works to make lives better, and be proud of it.

Set better examples, Start with replacing all those signs
‘Don’t assault our staff’ everywhere, on buses, in hospitals.
What good do they do? If we must have signs,
then `please be courteous’.
Or at least something helpful.

If we were kinder, we wouldn’t need them anyway.

I would like to include in this debate about London
a few words from one of our icons, Samuel Johnson. `
He said, `When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life;
for there is in London, all that life can afford.’

London’s no different today. It’s got a lot of good, a lot of bad,
but mostly everything in-between.
Johnson also said, which I am sure he would wish put forward
to this meeting because of its relevant directive,
`Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.’

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